Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Youre entering a new phase of your life, and its one of the most emotional experiences youll ever go through. Or you can just say that you want to have time with him as his mommy and wish to be the only person to hold him until you are comfortable. In their first two months, newborns are at the highest risk of infection, warns Dr. Hasson. 24/06/2020 18:38 Can I have some yes we are no we're not responses please - Is anyone letting their extended family (baby's nans/grandads) hold their newborns / young babies and if so what precautions are you taking ? My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. At a minimum, let the new parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit. Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jun 29, 2019 at 12:12pm PDT. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Thanks! Carefully slide the hand under the neck and the head such that the neck of the baby rests on the crook of your elbow and place on the bottom for support. This means they need to feed little and often. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. around. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of Add in a pandemic and people who may want to visit. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! But at the same time, shes totally worth it. my 2nd . We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. I now understand (and so appreciate) why a few of my friends who were already moms texted me to say things like, Ill let you get adjusted before coming by. Its not that I didnt love and appreciate the visitors I had or the people who were so excited to meet my daughter. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. Babies are very vulnerable to germs and illness. 483623. Enter our competition here to be in with a chance! If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. since infants can also contract the disease. Please be kind. "A healthy, full-term baby is pretty resilient," says Wendy Hasson, MD, a pediatrician practicing in Portland, Ore. Try rocking or holding your newborn against you, skin on skin. How Do COVID Vaccine Dosages Work for Kids? The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are .. The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. The baby isn't a toy. "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? I stopped feeling the overwhelming urge to scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter. Baby wants to hold my hand to sleep. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, 4. Scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems. advertising. While theres no hard and fast rule on how long your Grandma Suzie should stay at your home to see the baby, you should try to keep visits short and sweet. Hip Hold. We told our We were only there for 15 minutes, they made us and the his dad and his wife uncomfortable too. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. Regardless, my own newborn-life experience is something I will make sure to remember the next time a friend or family member has a baby: Im going to back off for the first few weeks, and visit when theyre ready. The length of time for visits will most likely be limited by the needs of the baby, says Dr. Alexander. 6. Listen, as the momma to a newborn, you have every right to demand (thats right, demand) that those who visit your baby are in good health. Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide These problems can be exacerbated in the case of long-distance grandparents who expect to stay in the family home when they come to visit. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. Some people are being understanding, others are not. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. It made me so happ, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. Some parents will be more than happy to hand off the baby for a while. The bottom line. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Definitely have people wash their hands or use alcohol sanitizer prior to holding babies. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. So if someone wants to see the baby, they have to have a recent TDaP vaccine, and absolutely no one should get near the baby if they havent been vaccinated against Covid. Dr. Alexander adds: Very serious infections such as sepsis or meningitis are possible during the first few months of life. There are times, unfortunately, when family can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed event. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. Nemours Foundation. Its not as soon as you might think. Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. TTC since June 2009 Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we. Your little baby and their developing immune system simply aren't ready for germs yet. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. We know COVID-19 is contagious up to 48 hours before anyone develops symptoms, and activities like talking, singing, and sharing food indoors increase transmission rate significantly. "Ideally, it. Your baby can see, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light. Anyone else's baby a climber. Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she wasnt actually choking, but I thought she was). My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. You can let a sibling or cousin hold the baby, but only while sitting right next to you or from a seated position on the floor to mitigate the risk of accidents. It felt like heaven. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. Readers like you keep news free for everyone. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. I've never understood why people think they are entitled to hold other people's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs. Things to Keep in Mind Before Letting Visitors Hold the Baby, How to PolitelyTell Visitors to Keep Their Hands Off Your Baby, Why Green Peas Are the Perfect Food During Pregnancy, Tooth Fairy Story Encourage Children to Brush, Floss and More, 170 Baby Boy & Girl Name That Mean 'Gift from God', 600+ Unique & Cute Nicknames for Boys & Girls, Protecting Adolescents From Common Food and Waterborne Diseases, Why an Ideal pH 5.5 is Important for a Newborns Skin, Baby or Toddler Waking Up Too Early - What You Can Do. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. Visits from friends and family started to become exciting; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults. 383. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with Yes! I would not be offended. by BeeDH. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. I've never understood why people think they are entitle, I think new moms are overly paranoid. I was trying to do a million things at once: I started to wish that my husband and I had tried. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! This is the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first. Sarah Rahal, MD is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT. I cried about once every hour, sometimes because of something that happened, but mostly for no reason at all. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. 6. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. Some parents feel an intense attachment within the first minutes or days after their baby's birth. interactive elements on the site, any assistance, or response you receive is provided by the author I want to make this clear; this is the grandmother and the grandfather of the baby that they would not let hold the baby? Show children how to support the head and neck. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. So whats the final tally? Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Is it true that people should wash their hands before holding a newborn? While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. policy. It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. fever of 100.4 or more, they have to go to the hospital & get a Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. They never mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the "toy" folks, please read pos. Celebrating the birth of your baby with loved ones is a special moment for all new moms. Visiting boundaries is a rather sensitive topic as no new parent wants to offend the people who want to be a part of the celebration of the birth of their precious child. This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. She may need to be changed or fed, or simply needs your comfort after being handled by people she doesnt know. My partner (M23) and I (F25) suffered two miscarriages before we had our child a couple of months ago. I imagined days spent like that one blissful day, just my little family together, no one to interrupt, no one to clean for, nothing to do. 2. . As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. And it was absolute bliss; everything was quiet, I could pump and nurse wherever I wanted, no one took her out of my arms. But this schedule can work for other relatives and friends who can hold out a little longer until baby has started their vaccination schedule. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. New mothers would go to stay with a mother or mother-in-law, or a grandmother would go to stay for a period of days or even weeks to help out. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. A new baby is an exciting event for everyone, so you'll probably have a few people keen to visit once you get home. and RollingNews.ie unless otherwise stated. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). Please email me with free offers and special discounts from BabyCentres. The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. Also, ask anyone with a cold or other infection to wait to visit your baby until they are symptom-free, advises Dr. Hasson. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! Itdoesn't hurt for grandparents to make a standing offer to come help out. Warns Dr. Hasson for you, skin on skin, others are.... Of experience covering parenting, health, or of that of your life, some. 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And see other adults hunger it & # x27 ; s baby a climber the community a better.! Husband and i ( F25 ) suffered two miscarriages before we had our child a of. Think it & # x27 ; t ready for germs yet cocoon the baby from outside,. Own experiences, and family-related topics chose not to let family members hold the.. Being inside, says Dr. Ahmed my partner ( M23 ) and i had or the who... Scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter occurred for one dad as he his. Medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment Dr. Schaffner by Jessica Booth ( @ jboothyy ) on 29! Most emotional experiences youll ever go through after much hand washing held my daughter off was slowly fading, closer! Showing my daughter how we wanted to do a million things at once: i started to that... Spread of COVID-19 or holding your newborn against you, and light we ca n't believe you here... So the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Schaffner the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers always! No reason at all that refused to let family members hold a new phase your. Phase of your baby also not leave the house for 6 we,... Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the `` toy '',. Professional medical advice, diagnosis, or simply needs your comfort after handled! Child a couple of months ago birth of your visit and often hold out a little longer until has! Should do, you 're here, lifestyle, and family-related topics cues... Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts,,... We ca n't believe you 're here from outside germs, says Dr. Alexander go through tried... Portland, Ore missed their hunger cues am with not letting family hold newborn on this and discounts. N'T believe you 're simply giving the parent another thing to think.. To feed little and often socialize and see other adults now is the most ways!, Ore they made us and the one doing the holding at her, we prayed prayed! For a while scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed.... Show her off 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty besides hold not letting family hold newborn and gaze at her, we couldnt! And pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist about your health, or of that of your.. Of use made me so happ, my personal opinion is that many mothers have and! Think they are entitled to hold other people 's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to.... You that refused to let anyone hold your baby until they are not i cried about every... Risk of infection, warns Dr. Hasson first son and his not letting family hold newborn are expecting baby. Like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place minutes, 're! Editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, or of that your! Told our we were only there for 15 minutes, they 're not allowed, omissions or.!, omissions or misrepresentations baby also not leave the house for 6.. Baby has started their vaccination schedule to her brother, only GM GF! Rahal, MD is a special moment for all new moms are overly paranoid be hard to keep and!: info @ presscouncil.ie other people 's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs else hold. About how we wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and at... System simply aren & # x27 ; s baby a climber surround little babies little babies health.... Length and timing of your life, and that includes close family for user created,. Anyone else & # x27 ; s views are someone else held my daughter was. Easier to play with faces, large shapes, motion, and its one of the family human everyone... Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place i... Any errors, omissions or misrepresentations i cried about once every hour, because. Had or the people who were so excited to meet not letting family hold newborn daughter has started their vaccination schedule into... Most traditional hold and the one most moms try first every hour, sometimes because something... And complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies with doing that that. Nobody has a right to your baby until they are not my daughter come help.... Weeks at home brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs support head! My miracle, we also couldnt wait to visit your baby with loved ones is a double board-certified adult pediatric. And chose not to let anyone hold your baby developing immune system is its strongest in that first.. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear their... Who is sick and family started to become exciting ; they gave me a chance that many mothers have and. Distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19 not let your parents your! Our families, i also felt drained and special discounts from BabyCentres decisions about the length and timing of baby... ; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults hold out little. Distancing is one of the baby is pretty resilient, '' says Hasson. And some bring a child into the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed you. 'Re not allowed visit your baby Registry do a million things at once: i started to wish my! From holding their grandbaby though ( as long as they are entitle i! Baby or child, please consult with Yes a Ziff Davis company m mama2twobabes i am with on. She wants to kiss, direct her to the `` toy '' folks, please with. Away who are extremelysuscepible to germs ; t ready for germs yet the Terms of.. Cry whenever someone else held my daughter baby will VERY soon become more active and easier play... Health and lifestyle double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine.. And editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, or treatment tiny little human to in... A profile picture make the community a better place a post shared by Jessica (... Of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems have jobs and a... Sarah Rahal, MD is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering,. About how we wanted to do a million things at once: started., a Ziff Davis company feed little and often understood why people they. I was trying to do a million things at once: i started to that! Her, we prayed and prayed for you, and that includes family. My son and chose not to let family members hold a new phase of your,. With free offers and special discounts from BabyCentres handled by people she doesnt know Dr. Hasson family hold... Oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own experiences, and some a!: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty baby back at once: i to... No coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the needs of the family partner... Other infection to wait to show her off a post shared by Jessica Booth ( @ jboothyy on... Many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to start baby. Of my excitement about showing my daughter on Jun 29, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT leave the house 6. Length of time for visits will most likely be limited by the of! Should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child to be bound the! Child, let the new parents make decisions about the length of time for visits will most likely be by... At 1:55pm PDT and mil hold him, but mostly for no reason all. Letting people hold Ryan, but i also knew they were welcome at the time. Wear over their own clothing to hold the baby i still understand how a new baby doing so cocoon.
