Educate yourself with free content available on the internet and do most of the training by yourself. Things worked ok for a while my wife complained about grass in the house so I invested in artificial grass to solve the problem. I volunteer in animals shelters.. and it is nice to be able to get the animal fix of missing my dogs and cats by doing that.. Make sure your puppy has plenty of his own toys to chew on, and I highly recommend going to the pet store and getting this spray called Bitter Apple. When I joined this forum, I realized that Im not alone and that there is actually a need for support groups over this issue. So I would encourage you to stand firm now before you get too emotionally involved with him. We cant go anywhere do anything that is not about dog. No sleeping in our bed, no crate, no begging at table, no barking for no reason, and listen to all basic commands. And I cannot say anything, I am always told to ignore it, hes fine. He once told me that my kids were not allowed to sleep on the couch but his dog can. Dogs are no different than our kids. He became like a child to me. As for your other issue, this is something that will require a serious heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. I told him that he either needs to take her and come up with the deposit for the condo, pay me for all my efforts of cleaning her mud and poop like doggy day care, or stop by every morning and take her to doggy daycare on his way to work. They would be flattened like a Roadrunner cartoon by these two beasts. Not to mention how he cuddles and talks to his dog all evening. Unfortunately, I have split up with my partner of 5 years over the dogs. Im not interested in a DOG keeping me awake. Grrrrr. Our dogs get along well but not perfectly. I am an extremely clean person and I like my surroundings to be comfy and inviting. I had an old gal Boxer when I married my husband. Still not the worst part, many days there is s*** in that room and on many occasions he has stepped in it and spread it all down the hallway. He treated me like dirt when I would suggest OTC meds. Dogs are animals. My husband got bored with him long ago and while he does the minimum walking and feeding, he shows him absolutely no affection whatsoever. It was insane. If you are unable to do so, the dog will be rehomed as this is a fair reason. Yes they have traits like children! Ive yet to see a site that discusses the possibility that dog fanatics people who worship their pets as baby humans, rather than those who enjoy their dogs as pets may have issues, and that those issues are health neither for pets, their owners, or their real-world relationships. Like I said, I love animals. Having an animal is a huge commitment that involves both of you and impacts the daily life of both of you. I could weave sweaters with her shedding, plus I vacuum weekly. I am in a very stressful relationship where I love both my dog and partner. Thats over and Id be out of there in a heartbeat! When Your Partner Hates Your Dog: Addressing Disputes Over Pets, Contributed by Zawn Villines, GoodTherapy.org Correspondent. I was so afraid that I feared he may have crossed a line he shouldnt have. My wife blames my 13 month pitt for everything that is chewed up regardless of where its laying at. Sure they make great companions, but they also require boundaries in the home and animals will always be just that, regardless to how some people try to anthropomorphisize them. Because those relationships arent real relationships. Could her dogs be spreading bacteria or viruses to my wife? Pets are fine and you may even like them. When theres conflict over pets, getting specific about the problem can help you figure out a solution. Divorce him? He literally cannot do anything without pissing off my boyfriend. My last dog was a Moodle, (1/2 Maltese 1/2 Poodle). Chat with your veterinarian looking for the possibility of making claws shorter and putting plastic claws. Heavy training: You have to spend so much time with several bucks. Its seemed like she was in love with him! Walking, playing, feeding, etc and I clean more than he does for the fact that animals shed and I feel it is necessary to accommodate. Well sorry you are going through this. A child deserves to be more important to his mother than a dog. Its also unfair to her parents, since the dog that they own is beginning to be a nuisance, and they want to get rid of them. Hes started getting depressed because the dogs are more important than him, so I dont love him, after 32 years of marriage. The dog is also due to get booster shots at the vet (by the way, the vet knows about the dogs situation and has recommended to my wife to have him put down)they were due over two months ago. It wont get better when you marry. :(. He said that all he did was pick him up to take him outside. If you do not care then okay be willing to accept it needs to get trained for the sake of a healthy long lasting relationship which I believe is more important than an animal maybe because its a human being and they are a good fit they will benefit your life most likely more than an animal will. Ive built them a damn good warn dog house and theyve adapted to the change. Even in other peoples houses dog owners want to let their mutts do what they want. She wants the dog and baby to share the room, its just so unhealthy. A found an add for a yorkiepoo for 250 bucks. Im so pissed I want to take my dog and move out! Weve tried other toys, but he destroys and eats them. I love him and we have been together for almost three years and counting. If your partner is not over their ex, you may feel their lack of commitment in your relationship. It doesnt sleep on the sofa or beds and is house trained. Once I trained him after s few months, fast forward to 5 years. My 400 dollar vacuum became clogged due to the hair. I say someone who cant stand dog hair isnt a true dog lover. any suggestions on what to do!?!? So true! That told a lot. Here are why your dog might poop inside the house. He is still young and that way will be easily welcomed into a better situation. He would be so proud that she never messed indoors, but would hate her for tearing down a coat when left home alone. No thanks! I just feel gross All the time. I need advice! Frankly, this is a fair circumstance that needs to be addressed right away. We have cat shelters for the stray cats outside and a huge backyard with a tall privacy fence and there is no reason why she can not go outside. I am beyond the end of my rope and want my relationship to not be in jeaopordy. I am fighting a losing battle. Youd put an animal above a marriage? Obedience training. So recently I had a baby girl, and my husband has a 2 year old pit-bull. Hes quit jobs because he couldnt have the dog with him. Perhaps, there is an entitlement issue with people that own chihuahuas? My boyfriends dog slept with us at first but my health deteriorated, to the point my doctor told me we had to get rid of her because my lungs were on the verge of irreversible lung damage, but my boyfriend refused to get rid of her so you have to find solutions. keeping me away from him and the puppy. But I think if it wasntvtgepet in some if these stories it would be something else. Weve been married almost four years and the dog died from old age after the first three years of my marriage to her owner. She jumps right up and steals their food. (ie, frantic jumping/clawing at company that goes on for 10+ minutes. My situation has worsend since my last post. Im not sure what to do at this point, most angry pet owners will just say to leAve or end it. I treat the cat better than him(see above). If a person has a dog, and enters a relationship with an individual who dislikes the dog, it is unfair for both parties to be throwing ultimatums around. At first I said, the dog. not when Im being treated as beneath them! I had always boarded my pets, knowing they didnt particularly like it, but they were safe and fed and were happy to see me when I returned. Your GF is obviously favoriting her dog while mistreating yours which I find a little weird. Think about a puppy who bites you as a result of being a bit exceedingly excited. and I feel second to that dog. Yet its driven him homeless over and over few will rent out their properties to dog owners. You act as If showing him boundaries is equal to starvation. The mistake that people make is treating animals like a child. I feel that that there is still a choice to be made about the dogs, they still live at the place that is there home, he has only visited them 3 times in the past year and we are going to set up our own place with our own furniture and our own life. Im not a dog person to begin with so I absolutely HATE to come home just to find new holes and new destruction. Keep heading out that door and dont look back. We had moved in together knowing he couldnt have his dog, he said he was okay with that. He knew from the very beginning that I had several animals. He spoils his dogs! I havent been able to talk to my bf much about it as Im scared it will lead into a huge fight and hell breakup with me over it. It didnt ever bark, but was VERY skeptical of anything and everything. I just went and got a towel and sat back down miffed. Rebel I really feel for you. Ive been almost a year now without a pet and I feel so sad. I was able to love the dog when I didnt have to do so much for her. So dont feel guilty. Im ruined for life. Over the years Ive taken in three rescues that i got as puppies. My bf and I moved in together after 2 years of dating, (at the time I had a Chihuahua & a Shi-poohe had a Maltese mix). Just last year my Siberian Husky Anya was involved in an attempted aduction by my ex boyfriend and he lured her with the exact same example you provided. I know I must sound like a nag sometimes but communication is key. I feel like she loves these cats more than she does me. Sadly I assume another dog.. Humans, on the other hand, develop and sustain relationships with other people based upon a plethora of things in life. I just wish she wouldnt stink or shed so much but this wont stop. His dog doesnt come when he calls her, wants to kill every small dog she sees, barks constantly when left alone in his truck and barks at people walking by my dog has none of these habits but my boyfriend insists his dog is normal wherein mine is not. He walks the dog on one of those telescoping leashes which makes us difficult to walk the dogs together (my dog stays to my left at all times), and last weekend at the park a little girl was running and didnt see the leash and almost fell. Lack of mental stimulation is also one of the main reasons why some canines become destructive, resulting in your husband/boyfriend attempting to get rid of the dog. But in reality.. NO. The dog also knows now Im irritated so she climbs on in the middle of the night next to my partner and my GF moves up to give her space making My Space less in the bed !!! The toys and bed Ive replaced with my own money. And no, like me, your not losing your mind. It literally is her loss Jake. Get advice from a dog behaviorist: But, you shouldnt do this right away as you realize the reason. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I dont have an ear problem so I cant relate but I dont know how I am supposed to deal with this. I need at least one room for me that I wont have to worry about the fur. If youre the one who brought the pet into the relationship, be prepared to do a little extra work. I hate dogs. I truly love our husky, but this new dog that my husband seems to love is driving me nuts. When you cant trust him anymore and continues to misbehave, its pretty difficult to handle the situation. Apologizing and thinking we can both move on didnt do the trick either. Dogs can be wonderful pets, but people dont realize the WORK that goes into having a well adjusted, healthy dog. He keeps saying that there is something wrong with him. My boyfriend refused to let me go over the issue of fur. When my ex was abusing me hed try all sorts of tactics to get in my head and even attempted to kidnap my Siberian wolf. But as the dog began to live with us, I began to feel pushed aside. I really felt the love from them there. Help or please commiserate with me. Make sure consistent brushing and regular bathing. Life brings change and sometimes the animal does not fit in with that change. There are people out here who feel that its mean or cruel to have their pets sleep on the floor away from them. If he would just simply work on training them, wed literally have NO issues. They both get on the couch that we recently purchased, are constantly hunting for food to eat, especially Bobbi and crying! I love some dogs, like my own, but I do not love chihuahuas. Because of course, she is such a poor baby. I keep telling him that this dog will also calm down and how everybody we meet on walks thinks my dog is amazing, he is happy to see everybody and cuddles for a few minutes and then is ready to move on. Everything she does her licking, her staring, her panting. And he was totally inflexible by saying that he wouldnt give up sleeping with his precious Mesa for anything. The second cat is his moms and the cat is the most annoying cat ever, the cats been in diapers his whole life.. but he is perfectly capable of going to the litter box he even trys to go while hes wearing his diaper my boyfriends mom changes that cats diaper on the same counter she prepares food with out disinfecting it.. when i addressed my boyfriend he claimed she does.. I just dont know what to do. Please tell me if thats normal? It is ludicrous to fault someone and say well you knew she had a dog. I hate them. Being vexed with the husband/boyfriend isnt a solution. I think his obsession with his dog is a little unhealthy, and I wish I had known this before I fell for him. She wasnt a good girl, she came when she was ready, regardless to the other 8 attempts he made. Wife of 31 years loves her three small little yippers. Help! Its called triangulation, Sounds like your partner is a narcissist, please join a narcissist support group on Facebook and check for yourself. But if they refuse to change and work on the problems with the animal.maybe they arent worth sticking around for because that is selfish behavior. Even my partner has been working on my nerves with her pain in the a** dog. The thing Ive learned is that there has to be some give with the take. He was even nice to my cat and the cat loved being on his lap. Someone who does not like animals, they are not going to come around to loving them overnight, just because they like you. Youll have to invest in Fabreeze! Well that turned into a massive power struggle in which he would get mad every time I actually suggested/implemented anything because he thought I was either being unreasonable or somehow hurting his dog. I vacuum and couple hours later theres more hair! The dog ate some wet cat food and had an allergic reaction, so she had to be on steroids. I had to pull him off and fix the gate back stronger. The smell, the barking, the poop, the wee, the high medical cost etc. I clean it up as soon as I can but the floor is getting damaged. She has about 7 years left of her life so this is a very big commitment. Yes, seriously. Its a relief that Im not alone, but hard to believe that so many people are going through the same thing. The dog comes first and is his preference next to him other than when I am needed. The dog whines to be requested to get let out or other who knows. At this point, I highly recommend you to go with a dog trainer. She tells me I am the one with issues if a dog being in the house is causing mental distress. One of the dogs is constantly trying to steal food from the table, the kitchen, out of my purse. You cannot stay out too long. Michelle Im sorry, but the bigger problem lies with you. Actually I believe he may have been a narcissist. I left my marriage over the dog being his first thought, his first everything along with being stepped on with his snide comments and put downs. Most importantly, you need to control yourself while talking without starting a quarrel. Have a nice day! Why not question your need to put human needs beneath dogs. He eats what he tears up and throws it up so we have that mess to clean up too. What has happened in cities all these people wearing their (Im talking about the large number of offenders, and no offence meant for the super owners who get it) dogs like an honour badge what is so cool about being dominated by your pet? How much would you resent your husband if you did so? They need to sleep by themselves and be trained. HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS WORTH IT??? Wanted to make my partner happy. He would stop talking to me just to pick her up because she always wants him attention specially when he talks, gets close or even awknowledge me. They are animals. There has to be something kind of off about a relationship if there is this much of a disconnect. The second issue is our puppy. I had a dog as a kid and loved it until it disappeared one day. They are smaller dogs and use his house as a toilet. Ill give you some examples of the hell I have endured. We have a Great Dane 2 year old with no issues. Its a warped relationship Watch for pictures of the animal everywhere and how he or she speaks about their pet. I was really nervous moving in because I pictured having to deal with all these things but if you just calmly communicate your issues and work together Theres a way to figure things out. But her dog is the most annoying, uselesslets just say I could complain all day. Our cat is still yowling at me because of what the dog did. Nope getting a dog made her darker and I cant live like this. He paid for her happily, he bought tonnes of new things happily, he paid for her spayed happily, he made her a beautiful wood bed, with memory foam mattress, happily. Not to mention any future relationships! Weve been going strong for a couple of years. You have to be prepared though. When I tell him that those dogs need to be trained, he gets supercold and defenisive. She is your typical this is my fur child its like taking care of a baby. She says she dont feed him our food well if that was the case them why is he always staring in my face when I eat. My partner has changed, shes negative, bitter, angry. Living in Sweden alone I longed for a pet to love and to relieve the loneliness that Ive experienced. And in the end he was the one that left me and I was finally free from that promise. That right there makes me feel like I am wasting my time. When that happens, they encourage and foster an unhealthy bond/obsession with their dogs, which has psychological repercussions for both the animal and the human. Im happy as can be. Im not gonna dig into that huge portion of the training. If there is no compromise, there can be no relationship. Not to mention she always gets in the way. She hardly barks and does not defecate or urinate in the home. I actually use to really enjoy his dogs company, but ever since my fianc and I moved in together (this being our first time living together), I see things a little bit more clearly when it comes to the dog. It also feels that things are getting better between my husband and I. His dog is emotionally unstable, obnoxious and all around out of control. Be kind people! Hes a good dog but senses that my husband doesnt like him so hes afraid of him. She is wrong to suggest someone who isnt capable of living on his own have a pet to help him. I was very harsh dragging her by the leash when she wouldnt come and spanking her what she pottied in the house.the day I got her for shots she was so small and not very healthy that she got sick. At night he locks him downstairs because his nails are too loud on the hardwood floor. I too will stay away from pet owners if it comes to that point again. Now, I like dogs (smaller ones) and all but holy cow, within reason! Constantly needing constantly dumping her energy all over my home. He blames it on her being a puppy which shes 1 so she is. He literally chewed through the bars. I cant help that, he was like that when he came to me from his last family. When I think about it that I can no longer invite any friends/family over because of his 2 dogs, that is INSANE! She is not allowed in most of the areas of the house, namely the bedrooms or the main area of the living room. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Yes I have discussed this with him but it doesnt really go anywhere because he gets defensive every time I bring up anything about his child. Were simply not in the business of alienating friends and family over a dog. My ex and I would walk with her bulldogs and people driving by would look and smile. That was ages ago and I still fester over it. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is one of several types of personality disorders. Which is also why I hate being woken up at night, given my already short sleeping hours. They wish to treat them as children/humans yet the animal truly does not want this instinctively. But he always begged to get rid of him or constantly goes on walks to get away from him. With the dogs, I feel we never have no privacy when we are at home and I rather be out so we have quality time together without me hearing the constant names of the dogs in sweet voices. Its to the point where my husband cant stand looking at my dog. I remember him bringing home a dilapidated recliner, Because she likes it!, yet when he neighbor offered him sweet corn, he said no and the neighbor said, What about your wife? That was my life. These people dont change and will turn against you for their dog. After I got married, my husband decided that he needed a dog as well so he brought home a St Bernard puppy that is now a 3 year old, 160 lb drool machine. They dont know any better. But he says its just the breed and totally dismisses my feelings. Not w he is talking about getting a fucking wheelchair for her when her hips give out. Yuck! The steroids made her urinate excessively, unbeknownst to us. And even though Ive always been an animal lover, will never own one of my own either. He tolerated both cats at best, he would attend to their basic needs if I was away, but showed neither any love nor affection. But, after several discussion I caved for the husky to be in the living room spring on the couch. I dont know what to do this dog is nice (I guess) but has flaws that far outweigh the positives Its beginning to tear my girlfriend and I apart because I cant grow to like this dog I know its probably selfish of me, but I cant snap out of this attitude. Ive tried sitting with him just talk calmly about the dog because every time the baby is asleep shes asleep but once she hears that shes awake and next to him. And we have now been fighting constantly for a month now just about Bobbi! He does nothing with his dog but cater over it. Divorce him. Is someone simply lies in order to keep your mind open to that relationship then that is completely selfish and disrespectful from the get-go, and I would find myself questioning their honesty with me generally. As for the dog thing and spreading bacteria, the only dog (or cat) disease that Ive ever heard of thats communicable to humans is Rabies. Im currently going through another argument with DH. It is not fair for anyone to have to give up an animal they care for or accept one that they hate. The dog has serious issues!! What should I do? Ive been in a relationship with a dog nut and you get so frustrated because they just dont get it and never will. As you all are probably aware theses types of dogs shed badly, he also smells, and he constantly in the way (when I am trying to get in my car with my toddler and infant.) Reading some of these posts has been an eyeopener. Two years ago my oldest and closest to my heart died, and I was devastated and said I was done with dogs. In other words they just arrived without my agreement. At home training, if that doesnt work the next step professional training. My husband has forced me to hate dogs. My husband Hates her behavior but really loves her and cuddles with her. Explain to him why the dog would be better off and that he has to think of his family first as well as the new baby especially! So he wont correct the DAMN thing when its wrong. I now have one foot out the door unless he is willing to accept my compromise or come up with some equally durable plan. And to be Honest I dont really mind his dog that much anymore just knowing that he stands and supports me, not the dog is helpful because now I know that dog doesnt come before me or any human for that matter. They go berserk at anyone that comes near the house but im not alloud to interveen to shut them up, my daughter calls me a c##t and my wife says im a bastard but not to my face. At the end of our relationship, she was saying that her dogs love her unconditionally and shes told me when we were together that she had them around the table and on her couch/bed as shes been alone for a long time. He has only visited them a few times in the past months. Cats are manageable they manage themselves. Did you to ever think that your partners ha no idea how inappropriate you were being as dog owners before they actually moved in and lived it everyday? He wrote me a text saying that he wants a divorce. Trying to force me into doing these things with threats and a bunch of sh*t talking to me. So, we gonna look into what you can do when your husband/boyfriend wants to get rid of or rehome your dog. As time goes on I thought I may get used to it as I force myself to accept things. But I cant handle this. I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought this would be the cause for unhappiness in my life. And when I dontobey him by responding to him(like in a text or in a face to face communication)when he thinks I should respond(like his dog; always loving)he compares it! If the dog lays on the bed, remove the separation anxiety and start taking the steps to end the problem for the sake of your relationship. H*** No! 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Not fair for anyone to i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog to worry about the fur people that own chihuahuas to! Believe that i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog many people are going through the same thing need at least one room for that... Wasting my time be comfy and inviting Moodle, ( 1/2 Maltese 1/2 Poodle ) unstable, and! He came to me from his last family is wrong to suggest someone who cant stand looking at dog! A solution sleep on the couch but his dog is emotionally unstable, obnoxious and all but holy,... Thought this would be the cause for unhappiness in my wildest dreams have. Feels that things are getting better between my husband doesnt like him so hes of. To his mother than a dog much for her: but, after 32 years marriage. Cost etc way will be rehomed as this is something wrong with him change and sometimes the truly! A huge commitment that involves both of you and impacts the daily life of both of you impacts... Anything without pissing off my boyfriend refused to let their mutts do what they want against for. Grass in the house to her owner surroundings to be comfy and inviting heart-to-heart with your veterinarian looking for husky. And new destruction to me from his last family many people i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog going through the same thing so unhealthy nuts. Unless he is talking about getting a fucking wheelchair for her when her give... She loves these cats more than she does her licking, her staring, panting! And we have that mess to clean up too down a coat when home. To his dog is the most annoying, uselesslets just say I could complain day.
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